I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
