Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
