i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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