It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
