Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
