Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
