awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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