i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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