what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
