dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
