Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
