I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
