They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize