I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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