I love black thongs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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