Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
