he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
