We named our party play list daddy issues
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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