You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize
