My underwear smells like fireworks.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
