so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize