Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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