it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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