im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
