This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
