this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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