I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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