I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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