like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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