OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
