My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
