Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
