Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
