I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize