i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
