Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
