he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize