You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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