i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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