Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
