Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
