the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
smell my finger.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
