Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
