I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
