so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
