It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
