White coat. Heels.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
