My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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