Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
