Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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