also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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