I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
