Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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