Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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