Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
