I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
being pregnant is like rehab
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
