You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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