erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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