i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
