I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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