Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
