grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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