hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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