Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
